Why Did the Chicken Cross the Road?

Why Did the Chicken Cross the Road?
(Neo-Pagan-style)

ALEXANDRIAN/GARDNERIAN: To reveal this would be to break my oath of secrecy. I can say, though, that it really is an ancient rite, dating far back in time, back even before 1951, and I have learned it from an unbroken lineage. As Gerald said, it takes a chicken to make an egg.

ASATRU: First, we don't believe in a "One Chicken" or a "Hen and Rooster." We believe in many chickens. Second, "crossing the road" is part of the three levels, or worlds, and the chicken simply crossed from one level to another. Hail to the Chickens!

BRITISH TRADITIONAL: The word "chicken" comes from a very specific Old English word ("gechekken"), and it only properly applies to certain fowl of East Anglia or those descended therefrom. As for the rest, I suppose they are doing something remotely similar to crossing the road, but you must
remember that traditional roads are not to be confused with the modern roads....

CELTIC: In County Feedbeygohn on Midsummer's day, there is still practiced St. Henny's Dance, which is a survival of the old pagan Chicken Crossing fertility rite. Today, modern pagans are reviving the
practice, dedicated to the Hen and the Green Rooster.

CEREMONIAL: "Crossing the road" is a phrase that summarizes many magical structures erected and timed by the chicken to produce the energy necessary for the intention of the travel across the road. For
example, the astrological correspondences had to be correct, the moon had to be waxing (if the chicken intended to come to the other side of the road) or waning (if the chicken intended to flee to the other side of the road), and the chicken had to prepare herself through fasting and proper incantations.
NOTE: certain forms of invocation (summoning an egg inside your chicken self) can produce abnormal or even dangerous eggs and should only be conducted inside a properly erected barnyard..

CHAOS: Thinking in terms of "roads" and "crossings" is simply looking at the formal, typically perceived structure of chicken crossing space-time. We, instead, focus on the possibility of chicken crossing itself; what appears to be a random act is thus actually the norm ---- it is the road which is the freak of chance. Indeed, quantum mechanics now demonstrates what we knew all along: two roads can  simultaneously exist in the same place at the same time. Thus, by attuning ourselves to the dynamic energy (called "crossing"), we can manifest the road. Of course, to the unknowledgeable, this appears as a chicken crossing the road.

DIANIC: The chykyn ("chicken" is term of patriarchal oppression) sought to reclaim for herself the right to be on the other side of the road, after it had been denied to her for centuries. By doing so, she
reawakened the power of the Hen within herself.

DISCORDIAN: cock-a-doodle-doo !

DRUID: To get to the sacred grove, of course! Keep in mind that 99% of everything written about chickens-crossing-the-road is pure hog-wash, based on biased sources. Yes, there were a few unfortunate
chicken sacrifices in the past, but that is over now...

ECLECTIC: Because it seemed right to her at the time. She used some Egyptian style corn and a Celtic sounding word for the road and incorporated some Native American elements into her Corn-name,
Chicken-Who-Dances-and-Runs-with-the-Wolves.

FAERY: In twilight times and under sparkling stars, those properly trained can still see the chickens crossing the roads. Reconnecting with these "fey-fowl" as they cross is crucial to restoring the balance between the energies of modern development and living with the earth.

FAMILY TRADITIONAL: Growing up, we didn't think much about "crossing the road." A chicken was a chicken. It crossed the road because that was what worked to get her to the other side. We focused on what worked, and we worked more with the elders of the barnyard and less with all this "guardians of the chickencoop" business. We didn't get our concepts of "chickens" or "the other side" from Gardner, either. You can choose not to believe us since we did not "scratch down" on paper what was clucked to us orally (which, at certain times in history, was the only way to avoid becoming Easter chicken soup!), but that doesn't change the facts: there were real chickens, and they really did cross the road!

KITCHEN WITCH: The chicken crossed the road to get food, to get a rooster or to get away from me after I decided to have chicken for supper!

LEFT HAND PATH: White, fluffy chickens prancing across the road ! Do you think that is *all* there is to crossing the road? Do you *dare* to know the dark side of crossing the road and the *other* path to
self-development?

NEW AGE: The chicken crossed the road because she chose this as one her lessons to learn in this life. Besides, there was so much incense and bright, white corn to explore on the Other Side.

NEWBIE: well, 'cause I read in this really kewl book that said, like, chickens are supposed to cross the road, right?

POSTING ON AN ONLINE DISCUSSION GROUP: What do you mean <<why did the chicken cross the road? ???!!!??? Haven't you read **any**of the previous posts? We've been [expletive deleted] debating every word of that question, painstakingly trying to come to some kind of answer. I know
you wrote <<all i wnted to know was why chickens cross the road, im not looking for any chicken spells but I'm fed up with newbies who can't even bother to REEEEEEEEAAADDD the posts on that very topic! No, this is *not* a flame. But, I and several others here have the *maturity* to properly explore and respond to this question, and we were properly trained; we *didn't* just read a book and think we were full-fledged chickens. <whew, feeling much better after ranting

"SETHIAN"/JANE ROBERTS: SESSION 666; WEDNESDAY, DEC. 2, 1969; 9:00 P.M.: Now, you create your own chicken, each of you individually and en masse. Your physical senses fool you into believing you are seeing a chicken crossing the road, when instead, the chicken has already crossed the road, and hasn't even begun to cross the road. There is a probable chicken that never crossed the road as well. Further, because you each perceive a chicken, there is not only one chicken but, in fact, many
different chickens. As I have said before, time is simultaneous. All probable versions of the chicken--past, present and future--exist at once in the spacious present. It is only because you *believe* [emphatically]
that time is linear, with each moment followed by another in one-line kind of fashion, that you perceive the chicken taking chicken steps to get to the other side of the road. It does no good to ask "Which came first, the chicken or the egg," either, for they both exist at once in simultaneous time. [9:10 p.m.] Now, there are families of chicken consciousness. All life seeks value fulfillment, for consciousness is consciousness. What you perceive as a chicken may be something far different in another reality. The chicken may, for example, be a fragment personality of your entity. The chicken is no less than you are, however, simply because it is a chicken. Now, the chicken has its reality, and you have your reality. But the chicken is more than a chicken [emphatically], and *you are more than you think that you are!*
[Pause one minute]: The chicken crosses the road because it *believes* it can, and it does. It knows that it is sacred and that it will not die. You (underline 'you') also are sacred and you will not die. But as long as you believe that it is unsafe to cross the road, you must take chicken steps and obey the laws that you have agreed upon to get to to the other side safely. [End at 9:30 p.m. Jane came out of trance easily. She
didn't remember a word she had spoken as Seth.]

SOLITAIRE: The chicken didn't want to be part of a coven or an oven.

SHAMAN: Crossing the road is a way to reconnect with the healing, visionary lifeways of the past. Chickens have long known this, but increasingly the Rooster's Movement is adding more roosters to the crossings too.

WICCAN: The chicken crossed the road because she felt like she was finally "coming home." She could do it alone or with others, but she had to call to the Guardians of the Watchtowers of the Barnyard first ... uhm, after casting the circle.

HOW SOME PAGAN AUTHORS MIGHT RESPOND:

MARGOT ADLER: The recent chicken resurgence, it can be argued, is directly based on a response to the suburban middle class experience. While I found that chickens-who-cross-roads who responded to my
survey are of a wide range of ages and backgrounds, I discovered some trends in the "why" of crossing the road. For some it is was freedom. For some it is chickensim. Many chickens told me they crossed the road for intellectual satisfaction. One thing is clear: the growth of road crossing by chickens is expanding in the numbers of chickens and in the ways they cross the road, including at chicken festivals and for political blocking of roads.

P.E.I. BONEWITS: Real crossing-the-road, we have seen, is a very interwoven and complicated subject. Our conclusion could be that real crossing-the-road is the build up of chicken emotion in conjunction with
chicken concepts to vary the modulation of chicken energy so as to effect the modulation of the road's energy. That's all! Perhaps it is unfortunate, though, to use the word "chicken" in relation to it, since the "C" word is being used now in a way it was never used before in the English language and is an utterly
meaningless term without a qualifying adjective. And this, of course, is the fault of the medieval Christian Church, through the Gothic Chickens it invented and used as the basis of persecuting men, women and chickens. The word "chicken" itself comes from an Indo-European root, "cheeka/e" meaning "one who lays eggs," and it has no relation to the later Anglo-Saxon word for "wise spirit of flight," as so often stated by certain contemporary"Chics." An'Chk'Rrhod ("Our Own Chickens on Our Own Roads"), an authentic Neo-Chicken Rooster tradition, offers the best of paleo-, meso- and neo- Chickenism ...

CARLOS CASTENADA 4/10/1964 I spent 14 hours, without food or water, sitting on the dirt and under the sun in front of Don Juan's house, grinding chicken feed. I asked Don Juan if I could have a drink of water, and he told me that it was always this way, that a man who wanted to cross the road with the
chicken cannot have any food or water till the chicken feed is ground. I asked Don Juan if the chicken is an ally, like the little smoke. Don Juan seemed to get angry and stayed silent. After I completed grinding the corn, I hallucinated from heat exhaustion, and Don Juan said I was ready. As I collapsed to my side, I spilled the chicken feed around me. A chicken appeared to be eating the feed around me, and I became
strangely absorbed in the vision. I heard Don Juan's voice tell me, "You must let the chicken cross the road into you. It is very painful, but for a man of knowledge it is easy."

SCOTT CUNNINGHAM: A chicken passes between the grasses, clucking. The wind blows, and the chicken knows, *knows*, that this is the time. She puts her energy into taking the steps, in harmony with the gravel and the stones of the road. She is across; it is  over, and the
chicken stands in the field on the other side of the road.
... Natural
chicken crossing is unique among most other branches of the
art of chicken
road crossing. It doesn't require years of collecting or
fashioning coops,
feeders or hen houses. Indeed, the most important tools of
natural chicken
crossing are free: the road, the chicken and you, your
personal chicken
power. You're already familiar with it. You've felt it. You
*are* a chicken.
Crossing the road is you, with your chicken need. And, you
can do it on your
own. After all, who initiated the first chicken?
JANET AND STEWART FARRAR: Since so many editions of
Gardner's Chicken Book
of Crossings have appeared in print (some accurate, some
not), we think it
won't "lay an egg" too much if we clearly present "The
Chicken Crossing
Rite," especially if we do so after two and half pages of
well researched
introduction set in six-point type. In version A of the
Chicken Crossing
Rite, we find many pseudo-archaisms (e.g.,"Yea, Ye Anciente
Rite of Ye Chiks
and Ye Rodes is a moste powerful Crafting,taking thy
athame..."); however,
Doreen Valiente notes (in version C, which is what we
present), and we
agree, that underlying it all is a basic ritual for
summoning the astral
road through the spirit of the Chicken (drawn down in the
person of the High
Priestess, holding the black handled feed bin; of course, a
second degree
may assist or perform the rite when....

LLEWELLYN'S PRACTICAL CHICKEN MAGICK SERIES: To some
people, the idea that
"chickens crossing the road" is practical comes as a
surprise. It shouldn't.
The whole idea of Crossing the Road is practical for
chickens. While
Crossing the Road is also, and properly so, concerned with
spiritual growth
and psychological transformation --the "why" of crossing
the road-- every
chicken's life must rest firmly on material roads. Crossing
the Road is the
flowering of chicken potential. And the profits from
publishing all those
books on how to do so? Well, that ain't chicken feed...

STARHAWK: The chicken crossed the road to reclaim the
crossing experience,
the experience of being fully alive, with streams and earth
and rocks and
road, in the fullness of her chickenhood after thousands of
years of
roosterarchy. The chicken crossing the road --not a chicken
laying eggs, not
a chicken being roasted and eaten--a chicken strong and
free, crossing the
road, this is something I can believe in. We chickens, as
chickens, can
reclaim this in harmony with the Earth who gives life to
all chickens and
Who has been terribly scratched by roosters. Exercises:
Dance the Spiral
Chicken.

DOREEN VALIENTE: Old Chicken really did exist, and she
really did cross the
road. Gerald talked about her often, but she didn't cross
the road till
before I began studying with Gerald. Still there are
records of Old Chicken
which confirm her reality. As for all the comments that
Gerald had a "thing"
for chickens, that is simply not true. The reason we worked
with chickens is
really quite simple: it worked!

SILVER RAVEN WOLF: Although many times people have asked me
why exactly the
chicken crossed the road, I often wonder myself. My point
is that every
chicken comes to the road in a different way, and there is
no one correct
way for the chicken to get to the road to be crossed. The
study of crossing
the road is hard work if the chicken is going to develop
any degree of
proficiency. It is not something where you can just cluck
yourself across
the road. The first time my chicken crossed the road was
for my chicken's
friend,  whose rooster was being abusive. The chicken
worked the steps for
crossing the road after carefully considering all the
reasons for crossing
the road and all the steps she would have to take. Finally,
my chicken just
started clucking and flapping her wings and started across
the road. When
she reached the other side, her friend's rooster was
respectful! Afterwards,
the chicken ate some corn to ground herself.

AND FOR THOSE OF YOU THAT HAVE HAD THE PATIENCE TO FINISH
THIS.... I NOW
GIVE YOU A TREAT!!

HOW THE ALIEN FROM ASHTAR'S TRINITY WOULD ANSWER THE
QUESTION:

"First and foremost am I to take this question literally?
As you do know I
have a hard time with  interpreting what most humans are
asking and just
wish to make sure. Therefore, I will put it to you this
way: Are you asking,
"Why did the chicken cross the road?" or are you asking,
"How did the
chicken cross the road?" In the first instance I would
answer that question
with, 'Have you read this week's lesson on the Trinity
Site? If so you would
know that the chicken has decided to follow it's heart and
in doing so the
chicken is reprogramming the limitations that its brain has
limited the
chicken with from boundaries that have been established
from the chickens
society, religion or family.' 'Good for you Chicken, you
get today's Gold
Star!!!' Now if you were asking the second question all I
can answer that
one with is that a variety of several things could have
been accomplished by
the chicken! The chicken could have exercised it's given
talent of
levitation and floated across the road. The chicken could
also have
exercised it's talent of bi-location and just appeared to
be across the
road, when in actuality it was still on the other side of
the road. The
chicken could have been flowing with the energy of the
11:11 phenomena and
could have gone through that lovely Ascension Doorway that
was caused by
this energy and it was brought to the other side of the
road in its new 5th
Dimensional form. However, due to the Prime Directive, at
this time I cannot
tell you what actually happened to the chicken.... but I
can hint! What
would you do if you were a chicken, could not fly, and
someone was chasing
you around for a stew pot?"
 
 

[Contributed by Amberflame Moonfyre]


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